This story means so much to me, not only because of how special this woman and her beautiful family are, but also the incredible journey that Liv has been on from when we first dived into all things birth back in 2021 when she took our Hypnobirthing course to prepare for the birth of her first baby (story here) to freebirthing her second at home in February in her power after the midwives left. It is extra special for me as I was invited into her sacred birth space to witness the amazing birth of her second baby, Sebastian, which she sets out below.
For her second pregnancy, Liv yearned for the tranquility of a home birth. Despite having to navigate numerous complexities with her pregnancy and unexpected turns, including intermittent suspensions of midwifery services, her determination never wavered. Facing the possibility of having to freebirth, she prepared meticulously. The day came when she, along with her supportive husband and myself, her birth coach, navigated the powerful and intimate experience of birthing at home. It was an incredible display of strength and trust in the natural process, and Liv emerged more empowered than ever. Dive into her compelling story of courage, support, and the raw power of natural childbirth.
I truly believe that hypnobirthing and more importantly the knowledge and understanding of physiological birth is what leads to positive birth outcomes however that may look for the birthing person and wherever the birth takes place. I share my story in the hopes that it might encourage future parents who think they might want to consider a home birth but are nervous about the perceived risks to do their preparation but also be reassured that your body and baby really do know what to do and that if you can trust yourself and your birth partner(s) you really can do it.
Despite not everything going to plan birthing at home was truly everything I thought it would be: calm, personal, safe, empowering are the first words that come to mind but the biggest improvement I found from my first labour was not having to make the journey to the hospital or go through the triage process, which for me personally hugely slowed labour last time. This time my labour steadily built and became gradually more intense because my body was able to do what it needed to do without interference.
My labour with my first baby back in June 2021 was overall quite positive but it was incredibly long and exhausting ending in a ventouse delivery. Despite how long it lasted I still managed with just hypnobirthing breathing, listening to the Freya app (highly recommend) and gas and air. As soon as I’d got over giving birth I was 100% sure I would want a home birth for any future babies.
When I fell pregnant with my 2nd baby I still felt as strongly and made it clear from my 8 week booking appt that I would be having a home birth. We luckily live only 10 minutes from Stoke Mandeville hospital so I felt reassured that we were close by for any actual emergencies and I knew the home birth stats were positive for 2nd babies in particular.
Unfortunately the pregnancy was incredibly stressful, a raised nuchal measurement was spotted at the 12 week scan which meant a few months under fetal medicine resulting in heart scans and an amniocentesis then an agonising wait for results which was terrifying, luckily this all came back clear. I was so worried this would derail my home birth plans but luckily the Consultant we were under was very supportive and put in my notes she approved of a home birth when we were discharged back to midwife led care at 22 weeks.
At 28 weeks was warned through a local contact that staffing in Buckinghamshire had been an ongoing issue which we would need to prepare for. Aware of this, my husband and I talked through a lot of practical things for birthing at home without a midwife (something I had never considered before), what our options were and how I could overcome the fear of being without medical support in labour. All of this preparation was in the hope that it wouldn’t be needed but to help me feel prepared as for me personally knowledge/preparation helps me manage any anxieties. I started listening to the relaxation tracks and birth affirmations most nights and read the Hypnobirthing Book to remind myself of physiological birth and all the forms it could take. I also started listening to lots of informative podcasts and reading different home birth stories arming myself with as much knowledge as possible.
When planning a home birth it’s even more essential that your birthing partner is on the same page and so I involved my husband as much as possible in my preparations and even wrote out a different scenarios list and how I intended to manage them should they arise so he knew what my intentions were.
At 38 weeks pregnant I finished work and at took a step back from all my researching and temporarily came off social media. I needed to now get in the zone (as much as possible with a toddler to look after!) and trust that I knew everything I needed to know now and that my body and baby would take care of the rest.
Fast forward to 17th February I was now 5 days overdue with not a single sign or twinge and I was getting a little frustrated as I was in labour by this time with my first and although I was armed with the facts I was dreading having to have the induction conversations at 41 weeks as I knew it would take me out of the positive zone I’d been trying to stay in.
It was a Saturday so I spent the day trying to finish my to do list, doing lots of birth prep yoga with my 2 year old joining in and also tried the Miles Circuit on Abi's recommendation, which is meant to help get the body aligned for labour. I went to bed feeling completely normal thinking I’d tackle the huge pile of washing that needed putting away on the Sunday (spoiler alert it still needs putting away 🤣).
I woke up at midnight exactly on 18th February with the usual desperate urge for a wee, as soon as I’d been for a wee I noticed I had a mild tummy ache just like when starting my period. As I hadn’t had even the slightest twinge I thought this might well be the start but didn’t want to get too excited so went back to bed. Once laying down I noticed that the tummy pain was coming and going so I was now pretty sure these were mild surges. I didn’t manage to get back to sleep but I lay down listening to an audio book so I was resting. I woke my husband at 4am just to let him know things were progressing as I was now needing to breathe through them but they were still mild and not yet 3 in 10. We’d been advised to give the labour ward as much notice as possible so they could alert the community midwives on call so my husband phoned them at this point to give them the heads up.
At 5:30am our son woke up and was the usual bundle of energy, I decided to ring my mum (who lives an hour away) at this point because I was struggling to concentrate on my breathing whilst he was babbling away and making various breakfast requests! It was quite amusing though when he said ‘mummy what is the matter with you?!’
My mum arrived at 7am and whisked him away, the surges then ramped up and timing them on the Freya app I realised we were now at 3 in 10 so we phoned labour ward again. To our relief the on call midwife was available and now on her way to us, she arrived at 8am and very calmly set up her stuff and checked both baby and I, she read through my birth preferences and agreed to no vaginal examinations. As this was my 2nd baby and she thought it may be quick she arranged for the second midwife and student who were on the day shift to come at 9am.
At this point I left them in the kitchen and moved into our front room which i’d made into our birth space as I didn’t want to be observed. I was coping with the surges by swaying on my birth ball, listening to the Freya app, breathing and leaning into my husband during each one.
At this point we then encountered our first hiccup, the midwives asked to speak to my husband as I’d put in my plan that they should discuss anything with him first. They’d been told by the hospital they were short-staffed staffed so wanted me to go in so the community midwives could be freed up!
They also couldn’t confirm I was in active labour because they hadn’t done a cervical exam (CE/VE) and I was too calm! My husband however did a fantastic job of advocating for me and asked the midwives to relay to the hospital that I declined a VE and would not be transferring to see what they said. He then came back to support me whilst they did that. The midwife then came to tell us that the hospital had agreed to give me until 4pm when the first midwives shift ended to have the baby or I would have to transfer as they didn’t have a 2nd midwife to send out. I was frustrated that they passed that info on in front of me because it was then impossible not to look at the time (11am) and think I’m on a countdown now!
I did my best to refocus and asked my husband to start filing the birth pool because my back was really aching now (all surges were felt in my back). I got into the pool and felt instant relief, I loved how I could move into different positions more easily and lean back against the sides to rest in between surges.
By 14;00 I was feeling a lot of pressure with each surge but was getting frustrated that nothing was happening as my waters still hadn’t broken etc. I think I was also starting to panic about my looming deadline! One of the midwives suggested getting out of the pool and moving around a little so I walked through the house to our downstairs bathroom pausing along the way to hang around my husband's neck as I dealt with each surge. Instinctively I was going into a squat with each one, the midwives now used a mirror to see what was going on but couldn’t see anything of note.
After alternating between standing and bouncing on my birth ball I got back in the pool around 15;30. At this point it all got quite stressful as the midwives were pushing us for a decision on what we were going to do come 4pm. I was so worried about being left alone but I just knew that I couldn’t go in an ambulance at this point, the idea of lying on my back on a stretcher was more terrifying than being at home on our own. The midwives were a little surprised that I was even deliberating and told me I wasn’t ‘safe’ at home I just said I didn’t feel ‘safe’ going to hospital either particularly as we knew they were short staffed and no rooms with a pool were available so they were putting me in an impossible position.
As they started packing their stuff I had a bit of a wobble particularly seeing the resuscitation kit going away and doubted my ability to give birth without medical support, I am so grateful that at this point my husband stepped in and reminded me that in all our planning we had agreed we would not go in just because there was no midwife available at the beginning of labour so what had changed really now, if anything we were in a better position because we had the reassurance of knowing all observations including baby's heart rate etc had been ok all day. So we made our final decision and the midwives left around 16:15! They were very apologetic and one looked like she was close to tears as she hugged me over the pool and wished us luck.
When the door closed there was a moment where I think we were both a bit shocked as I think part of me had thought they wouldn’t really leave me given that I was clearly starting to bear down with each surge given the positions I was getting into /noises I was making. I had a bit of a panic / wobble that we’d made a mistake but again my husband calmed me down.
At this point we decided that it would be good to have another pair of hands so called our very good friend Abi who is a hypnobirthing teacher and has had 3 home births of her own to come and help us. She arrived at 17;15 with her 4-month-old in a sling and said to me afterwards that she instantly knew the baby was on its way from just looking at me. She did some counter-pressure hip squeezes for me which was such a relief as the pressure in my back was building and she gave me the reassurance I needed that I was safe, my baby was safe and I could do this.
Shortly after I got back in the pool and started pushing. At 17:50 my waters broke, and then the head started crowning, the ‘ring of fire’ was intense I squeezed a comb in one hand and Abi's hand with the other and at 18:03 pushed our surprise baby boy out. I brought him straight up to my chest and was so relieved to hear him cry, I was shaking with adrenaline I couldn’t believe I had done it, and that I had delivered what we later found out was an 8lb 11oz baby with no pain relief or assistance.
I got out of the pool quite quickly, as I was shaking and worried I would drop him, and sat on the sofa which had been covered in a shower curtain and towels. We had immediate skin to skin whilst my husband called the hospital to let them know we’d had the baby barely an hour and a half after the midwives had left us.
As there were still no midwives available they sent paramedics, who arrived about an hour after Sebastian was born, given it wasn’t an emergency. They were actually incredibly calm and supportive which I was grateful for, despite the fact that surges had started again I decided to have the injection to deliver the placenta as I was getting uncomfortable and the cord had gone completely white which I was really pleased about, as we didn’t achieve optimal cord clamping with our first son, I delivered it shortly after into a special bowl my friend had provided on the toilet.
At this point frustratingly we agreed to transfer to hospital as the paramedics could not assess whether I needed stitches but it was all as calm as it could possibly be, I kept Sebastian with me and he had his first breastfeed en-route. When I was checked I had unfortunately split my previous episiotomy scar with a 2nd degree tear so had a local anaesthetic and stitches. Had I not had that scar tissue I probably wouldn’t have needed stitches.
Despite not having the midwife supported home birth I had intended, nor experiencing the post-birth joy of being able to stay at home. I am so proud of myself for staying strong and my husband and friend for surpassing my expectations and advocating for me throughout. I’m also so grateful for Abi’s guidance, knowledge and support which ultimately resulted in us freebirthing our baby boy confidently and calmly.
